Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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