and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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