You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
