Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
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