So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
