Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
