I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
