used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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