I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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