So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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