I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
