also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
