She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
