Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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