My cat gives me a boner
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Everclear isn't food dammit
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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