Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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