OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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