Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize