yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
