He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There's always time for handjobs
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
