you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
