"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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