I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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