you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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