Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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