And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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