I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
