i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have already put on my inside pants.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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