Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
