And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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