Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
