i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
