It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
This house was built for laser tag.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
