It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
