i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
