i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
