I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
