areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
