Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
