I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
