This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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