haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
