maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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