I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
