Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
