I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
