operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
