Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My legs feel like baby dolphins
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
