Please, let me fuck your mom
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
