she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
