It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
