the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
