i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
