theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
