you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
