I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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