her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize