Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
