i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
