Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
