But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
