why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
