I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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